emotive language

Running Ahead: Kids & Language Acquisition

Is your child already speaking Dutch? Why this is an issue deserving particular attention for expat families.  Child Psychologist, Kate Berger MSc of Expat Kids Club explains more.
After having made the big decision as to which school to send your child to, Expat parents may be feel a sense of relief as the school semester comes into full swing. This relief may be short-lived however, as the next inevitable issue that often comes up for expat families living in the Netherlands is the matter of learning Dutch – for you and your child!
No matter which school you’ve chosen for your child (an international environment or native-language school) you may find that your child’s exposure to the Dutch environment in the simplest of ways, means that they are beginning to pick up the language without even trying.
Are you planning to stay in the Netherlands for only a short period? Or is your family here indefinitely? These are questions to consider when deciding on whether or not to learn Dutch yourself; however your child won’t necessarily think about such practical matters, and as a result of simply trying to make friends and “fit in”, they are likely to pick up the language with much less effort than will be needed in your case.
Young children, especially, lack certain complex social anxieties that adults possess, and are less embarrassed about making pronunciation or grammatical errors when speaking amongst their peers, so they will be more willing to try to speak Dutch even if they make mistakes. In addition, for serial expat children in particular, research suggests that because they are used to relocating – and therefore have more experience with making new friends – these children will dive into personal relationships in a different way to children who have not experienced a similarly transient lifestyle. Expat children may often quickly jump into deeper levels of friendship – levels where it is OK to discuss personal opinions, and to disagree with peers. In order to communicate at such a level, such children need to be able to express themselves effectively, and often as a result of this urgent need for self-expression, their non-native language (in this case Dutch) develops more quickly.
Finally, aside from social reasons, children are more able to pick up any language than adults because they don’t have the sound and contextual associations with words that us adults do (making it easier for them to pronounce new sounds and words).
Perhaps you have not planned on learning Dutch while you are here (or perhaps you are simply too busy – a reality for many expats!). That is your personal choice, but keep in mind that your child might be out there absorbing the language without even trying, and it could bring up some interesting issues within your family life at home.
Practical implications:
Living here in the Netherlands means it is very likely that your child will in some way become socially involved with Dutch children. When this happens, your child might want to bring his/her new Dutch friend over for a play-date. It may become difficult for you to be able to effectively look after your child and his/her friend if you cannot understand the Dutch they are speaking to one another.
Another example: Your child might learn about special Dutch holidays in school (eg, Sinterklaas) and want to celebrate them at home with your family. Often there are Dutch songs involved, and as a result of the fact that your child knows the songs and customs and you don’t, it might bring up some family conflict. You may find you have certain feelings about the fact that there is some (cultural) distance between you and your child.
Developmental implications:
No matter where you are in the world, as a parent the most important thing is that your child feels happy and safe in their environment. Family dynamics (things like trust, attachment, and love) become particularly important for expat families, as they rely on each other during transient times for comfort. For example in times of mobility, even those with normally high levels of confidence can experience a lack of self-esteem because they are starting over – culturally speaking- and have to re-learn norms, values, and re-establish a sense of self and purpose in their new environment.
Expat children often (re)develop their own self-esteem and confidence during transition times through their attachment to their parents (and/or primary care-givers). It is therefore critical that parents are willing to be involved in the transition process alongside their child in these situations. If there is a gap between your child’s language development and your own, this could make certain aspects of your family’s support system strained.
As you can see, this issue of “To Learn or Not To Learn Dutch” can become an important, and not-so-easily-resolved topic for expat families in the Netherlands. The bottom line is that if you want to make the most of your time here however long (or short!) it may be, there are many benefits to becoming, at the very least, familiar with the native-tongue. Being able to understand what products you are buying at Albert Heijn, being able to more easily make Dutch friends (the Dutch are terrific friends to have), and perhaps most importantly, being able to experience the same acculturation process that your child is going through so that you can bond as a family together and move forward into your new intercultural world – all great reasons for learning some Dutch.
Plus, studies have shown that bilingual children grow up having more diverse career opportunities, and are more open to being involved in intercultural relationships (friendships and romantically), so by supporting your child’s new language acquisition here in the Netherlands, you are supporting him/her emotionally, socially, and setting him/her up for success!
* To help you decide whether you should learn Dutch whilst living in the Netherlands, stay tuned for tomorrow’s article “5 Questions To Ask Yourself About Learning Dutch”.